Tricks for a successful Christmas: Part One: The Tree

I've only been “doing Christmas” in my own home for a very short while but I've been paying close attention to what works for my mum, my mum-in-law, my grandmas and my practically-a-second-mum and I'm going to share some of their tricks and some observations of my own.

My parents' tree



Christmas trees:

When I was a kid we had a good old plastic tree. I liked our plastic tree and since we didn't really know anyone with an actual dead pine tree in their house I didn't feel left out. (I should point out that I don't call them “real” Christmas trees or “live” Christmas trees because plastic trees are real, not a figment of my imagination, and once you cut down a “live” Christmas tree to bring it into your home it is actually cut off from that which gives it life: its roots and the sun.)

Plastic trees are good for several reasons:



They are an investment as the money spent on a tree this year does not need to be spent next year.

They don't drop pine needles all over the floor and make all your Christmas morning photos look messy.

They don't require water so your cat won't be temped to take a drink from the pot and when said cat decides to climb the tree (because that's how cats celebrate Christmas) there won't be water all over the floor, the presents and the cat.

They don't need to be creatively disposed of in the new year.

My sister-in-law isn't allergic to them.

But, of course, an actual,chopped down and propped up in a pot Christmas pine tree has its pros too and because my husband doesn't feel that it's really Christmas without the smell of pine in the house (an can of air freshener doesn't cut it apparently) and because he's the one who can drive, we have one and I have some tips for surviving Christmas with one:

ASPIRIN – according to my in-laws popping a couple of aspirin into the water around your tree will stop it from shedding its needles or turning brown before the big day. It will also stop your tree from developing a headache from all the horrible little flashing lights.

DON'T BUY TOO EARLY – the Adelaide Christmas pageant may happen in November but that doesn't necessarily mean it's a good time to bring the tree in. A whole month is probably too long to expect your evergreen to stay green, no matter how many aspirin you give it.



A friend sent me this. Badgers are supposed to be vicious and scary,
not cutesy wootesy.



CHECK FOR SIGNS OF LIFE – and I don't mean with a stethoscope. This is a tree that has been growing outside and may have been a home or food source for animals. While you're unlikely to find a birds nest or badger in your tree, insects are a real possibility so do a quick check for ants and mites before bringing the tree in.

SERVO TREES – they're cheaper and usually a bit smaller and this is not a bad thing. Ok, some are a bit scruffy but really, after a three-year-old shoves baubles all over it and winds tinsel through it, it's going to look scruffy anyway. So don't turn up your nose at a servo tree, Father Christmas will still visit and I'm pretty sure Jesus doesn't mind.

SIZE MATTERS – I know the big trees look impressive but think about the logistics before handing over your money. Will it fit in your car? Will it fit in your house? or will you be using the top of it to catch the cobwebs? Will you need a ladder to decorate it?

Seems silly I know, but trust me, you'll feel sillier trying to shove a six foot tree into your hatchback because you were too proud to check.

STRING – to tie your tree to something secure so you aren't woken by a crash and a splash in the middle of the night because the tree has fallen over (it's usually the cat's fault). Bricks around the trunk inside the pot aren't a bad idea either and help to keep it weighed down.

EXIT PLAN – know what you're going to do with the thing ahead of time. There's nothing worse than getting to January 5^th and realising you don't know how to get rid of your now brown and spiky dead tree. And there's nothing more sad than a street lined by dead trees that the rubbish truck won't pick up because they're too big for the bin.

I'm sure there are many more good tips out there so if you know any, please post them in the comments section.

And remember, unlike a puppy, a Christmas tree really is just for Christmas, not for life. It's ok to throw it out when the new year rolls around.