A Response to the rather nasty homophobic pamphlets being dropped in people's letter boxes at the moment.

This is what I'd drop in your letter box:

Dear Friend,

My name is Bonnie and I am a Christian. And I believe that gay people (and bisexual people) should be allowed to get married. I have a number of reasons why I believe this, some of which are quite boring, some of which are based on my faith and some which come from my personal experience and I’m going to share them with you. 

So here goes.

I’m Bonnie and I’m a wife and truly, being someone’s spouse, having a spouse, is wonderful. Sometimes having to compromise with another person all the time drives me a little mad but I think that if I didn’t have someone around to force me to compromise I’d be much madder. I love my husband and I love being married and think that it’s wrong to deny people the same happiness simply because of their orientation. Being able to get married to a consenting adult who is not my close relation or already married, that’s a privilege to me yes, but it’s also a civic right. It’s legal and official and to deny my fellow citizens the same right just makes us all seem rather fascist and undemocratic. Denying the rights of others also, to me, seems childish and I can’t be having with that.On top of all that lovey-dovey happiness I know that if anything happens to me my husband will be there. He’ll be allowed to be there and, as my legal spouse and the person who knows me best he’ll be able to make the necessary decisions on my behalf, should it come to that (and lets hope it never does). And I’ll be able to do the same for him. I would be beyond heartbroken if I were denied that because I wasn’t considered family. It breaks my heart to know that same-sex couples who love each other are denied that, are sometimes even denied a seat by their lover’s bed in hospital all because we have denied them the right to marry. I think we should be ashamed.

 But there’s more.

I’m Bonnie and I’m a mum. I love being a mum and it makes me really sad that other people can’t become parents when they are good and intelligent people. Too many people get pregnant by accident, don’t care for their kids, don’t show their kids the love they deserve but we don’t stop them from having them. Same-sex couples on the other hand, make a conscious decision to become parents and I think we could do with more parents like that in this country. Also, as a mum, I’m proud to say that my kids’ sexual orientation will not change how much I love them, or how proud I am of them. I want them to know that they are free to marry the person they fall into mutual love with and I want them to know that I was part of the fight to win them that right. I want my grandchildren to grow up in a world where homophobia is not tolerated under any circumstance and I want their kids to look back and wonder why we were ever arguing about this in the first place, when the answer is so clear. 

But there’s more.

I’m Bonnie and I’m a carer. My daughter is disabled and there are so many things in this life that are denied her because of that. But I want her to grow up knowing that she can marry the woman of her dreams if that’s what she wants to do. Genetics may have denied her her legs but I’m not about to let this country deny her the right to love and marry the person of her choosing. 

But there is more.

I’m Bonnie and I’m a Christian and I have a rule of thumb. If Jesus didn’t mention it then it isn’t necessary for salvation. I also have a golden rule. To love others as Jesus loves me, to love my neighbour  as I love myself. Whatever you believe, Jesus loved people with a huge amount of compassion and tenderness. He healed people physically and emotionally. He washed his friends’ feet, taking on the part of the servant to demonstrate that in order to help others we must serve others and put their needs before our pride. He died. He died slowly and painfully even though he was innocent and when he did he died as a scapegoat for a society obsessed with control and maintaining the status quo. When he died he showed us how wrong we are to scape goat those who are different. When he died he did so to save us from ourselves. That’s how much Jesus loves us and he wants us to live our lives with the same love. He wants us to love our neighbours and one of the ways I can do that is stand up and refuse to let people of different sexual orientations be scapegoated and belittled and hurt. I stand up for the rights of others because to do so is to realise the love Jesus wants me to express to the world. I personally think that it’s part of the Church’s mission to be champion to the oppressed and to fight to give all people a fair chance in this world. We should be the ones showing the world that God’s grace belongs to all and that we are all made in God’s image, sexuality and all. That GLBTQ community that some churches are so ready to deride and condemn, they are beloved of God. 

But, believe it or not, there’s more.

Because loving homosexual people, bisexual people, transexual, pansexual, transgender people is easy. Because they are people. And I don’t think that sexual orientation is a simple matter. For me it’s more of a spectrum and I’m somewhere in the middle, but really, that shouldn’t matter. Because what I am is a person. I’m a mum and a wife and a Christian and a daughter and a sister and a granddaughter and a niece and a cousin and a friend and a colleague and a neighbour and that woman you’ve seen at the shops. 

And I’m no different from any other person, not really, and if I can get married and declare my love for a spouse in front of God and the state and my family and friends in a legally binding way, then why can’t everyone else?

I think it’s time we grew up, learned to love, and decided to make our great-grandchildren proud.

Yours sincerely,

Bonnie.